My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
