Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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