i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
