i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
