Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
My feet surprised me
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