I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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