I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Found the puke drawer
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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