Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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