i just google imaged poop.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
