Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
