This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
