I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
