I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
