just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
