That's intense
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize