i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
