dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
