"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
