I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
