omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
