u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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