Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
