i permit you to call me
so explain again why im purple
no
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
