it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
