Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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