you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
