shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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