bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
