smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
