He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
