At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Randomize
