This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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