So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
