I skipped work to stalk him.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
