Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
