He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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