No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
