I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
