You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
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