Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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