What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
