Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
