Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
It's blow job season.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
The feeling are messing with the penis
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
