Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
