My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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