How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
No more Irish car bombs ever.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
