Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
My balls are so social today.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
