A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
well you can't waste a boner
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Two words: nipple clamps
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