omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
