He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
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