i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
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