New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
