k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
