Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
His hands were made for my vagina.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Randomize
