Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
