My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Randomize