idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
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