I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Is it penis luge time yet?
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
