It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize