Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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