I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Randomize
