At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
