I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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