Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
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