my text book just quoted the cookie monster
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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