I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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