It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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